2007 - what a year!

2007 was a year of big changes for me. In fact, I changed more things that haven’t worked for me anymore than I did in the last years.

I changed work assignments twice; I changed my hair colour and my hairstylist. And I decided to end friendships with people who drained my energy for a long time. And until now it hasn’t stopped.

I feel like a snake throwing off the old skin. It was also a painful time, because I had to let go of plans I thought they would work out, but in the end they haven’t and it is better to stop what keeps you from moving on.

Clearing off clutter in my home is next on my to-do-list. I don’t want to start the New Year with old ballast.

What will 2008 bring for me? On my wish list for the next year are:

Writing more articles and getting paid for. A new job that not only pays the bills but provides me with a decent income. Working with optimistic people, who have goals no matter what age they are. Spending my vacation (if there is any vacation) in Dallas. Winning a makeover from one of my favourite magazines. And of course, health for friends, my family and me.

Oh and there are my secret wishes, buried for a long time now, but who knows, maybe they will be fulfilled next year.

Whatever your wishes for 2008 are, I hope you get everything you dream of!

X
Christina

Don’t burn the candle at both ends - relax before you burn out

Last week I did something very unusual. On Wednesday I went straight home from work without stopping to run any errands. At home I turned on the TV curled up on the sofa and for the rest of the evening I did – nothing!

“So what,” you might say “I do this every day” but for me it is highly unlikely to come home and simply relax. The reason for my strange behaviour was, I didn’t feel well. I had a cold for two weeks and it wasn’t getting any better. Overall I had a problem at work and I couldn’t find a way out, a situation I genuinely hate.

Burnout syndrome – not only manager and so-called high achiever are suffering from it. A survey found out that this syndrome could befall everybody in every profession. Especially people who define their self-confidence and self-worth through their jobs.

Also the year is coming to an end and there are only 3 weeks left until Christmas and for many this is a very hectic and stressful time. There seem to be a heavier workload at the office, there are Christmas Parties to attend and gifts to buy. Not to forget the decorating of the house and the tree.

Why don’t we allow ourselves enough time to relax and recharge our batteries before an illness forces us? From childhood on we are told to be perfect and strong, that we only can achieve something when we work hard. No wonder, that we don’t allow us the “weakness” to call it a day and enjoy our leisure time.

We don’t have to do everything. It is true that nobody else can do a job as we would do it, but it is healthier to delegate things and accept that nothing has to be perfect, so let go of the need to be in control. This way we have much more time and energy for our other interest. The time before Christmas should be a time to enjoy and not a time to run us into the ground.

My to-do-list for the coming week contains things I like: meeting with my former colleague for shopping and fun, treating myself to a new nail polish, spending the next weekend with my Dad and spoiling the cats.

And most important having a good time and relaxing!

Don’t burn the candle at both ends - relax before you burn out

Last week I did something very unusual. On Wednesday I went straight home from work without stopping to run any errands. At home I turned on the TV curled up on the sofa and for the rest of the evening I did – nothing!

“So what,” you might say “I do this every day” but for me it is highly unlikely to come home and simply relax. The reason for my strange behaviour was, I didn’t feel well. I had a cold for two weeks and it wasn’t getting any better. Overall I had a problem at work and I couldn’t find a way out, a situation I genuinely hate.

Burnout syndrome – not only manager and so-called high achiever are suffering from it. A survey found out that this syndrome could befall everybody in every profession. Especially people who define their self-confidence and self-worth through their jobs.

Also the year is coming to an end and there are only 3 weeks left until Christmas and for many this is a very hectic and stressful time. There seem to be a heavier workload at the office, there are Christmas Parties to attend and gifts to buy. Not to forget the decorating of the house and the tree.

Why don’t we allow ourselves enough time to relax and recharge our batteries before an illness forces us? From childhood on we are told to be perfect and strong, that we only can achieve something when we work hard. No wonder, that we don’t allow us the “weakness” to call it a day and enjoy our leisure time.

We don’t have to do everything. It is true that nobody else can do a job as we would do it, but it is healthier to delegate things and accept that nothing has to be perfect, so let go of the need to be in control. This way we have much more time and energy for our other interest. The time before Christmas should be a time to enjoy and not a time to run us into the ground.

My to-do-list for the coming week contains things I like: meeting with my former colleague for shopping and fun, treating myself to a new nail polish, spending the next weekend with my Dad and spoiling the cats.

And most important having a good time and relaxing!

X
Christina

Reasons to celebrate

On my way to work this morning I thought about the fact, that my day job is still the same for 6 month now. Today exactly 6 month!

Well, this could be a reason to be frustrated, or even depressed, but I decided it could also be a reason to celebrate. The same day 6 month ago I started my job at this company and I have successfully resisted the urge to quit. Enough to be proud of, because I was tempted to no longer show up there many times in the past.

But the good things about this day job are the short way to commute, the flexible working hours and more important it brings in the money while I follow my new career.

So, I raise a glass of Champagne to my success!

X
Christina

Are you sure, you are on the right path?

For a few weeks now, I'm more confused than ever. I think about my coaching business, that I'm still struggling to get it off the ground. I also think about my day job, when will this assignment finally end?

I wonder if I'm following the wrong path. What if coaching other people was never meant to be for me? Why am I stumbling from one bad assignment to another?

Now the fog around these problems lifted a bit. I will keep up the website for my coaching business, but I will try out more other things, like writing articles. And I will follow more my intuition, when it comes to making decisions.

I remember when I went to the Temping Agency to sign the contract. I had a terrible feeling in my gut, everything screamed this is wrong. But stupid me wouldn't listen, I wanted a new job, no matter what. And now I have to pay the price, I'm feeling miserable.

But the main problem was, I left the decisions to other people. In my case that is always wrong. I have to be in charge whether it is in business or regarding the day job.

Now I have finally decided I will stay at this assignment until Christmas, than I have two weeks off and I'm not going back. I know I find something else to support myself, maybe the Temping Agency finds something too.

I hope I remember next time, that I'm the only one who can make the decisions about my life.

Is your net working?

I wonder how many people have a so-called network of business contacts they can turn to. Networking groups on the Internet, or business clubs whose members attend regular meetings should bring them new contacts and of course, work.

I belong to a business club a few months now, but the mere thought of walking in a room full of strangers makes me cringe. I have attended the club meetings two times in the past and although there were great guest speakers and delicious food, there was no time to really talk to others and I was forced to move on and talk to the next available person.

My ears were ringing because of the noise from too many people talking at the same time and I left with a bunch of business cards in my purse and had no idea who these people were.

Obviously the speed of speed networking is not working for me.

After these meetings I asked myself, if the main purpose of business clubs is only to make money through membership fees and not helping their members to make money.

What happened to the good old chat with people on the way to work, at the train station or in the grocery store? Are our lives so busy that we don’t have time for a few words that can lead to a great friendship and instead spend precious time and money at speed networking or speed dating that leads to nothing?

My 82-year old Dad is great in networking, no matter where we are, he always knows somebody. He even flirts with women in the bakery who are much younger than I am and they love to treat him to free piece of cake or a cup of coffee.

Another good example of a successful net-worker is his friend. He is self-employed, sells decorating items on trade fairs and without a website or email account, he has a flourishing business. His secret? He is open and friendly and always finds time for a little chat, no matter how busy he might be. If I would suggest to him that he should join a business club, he would think I’m out of my mind.

What both have in common is, they network all the time. Not in scheduled meetings, not with the intention to make business or to schmooze their way to a free meal. I guess we can learn from them, you never know who knows whom.

Confessions of a Beauty and Fashion Addict

I’m happy to renew my subscription to three women’s magazines every year and I can’t await the arrival of my trusted beauty and fashion advisors.

Nothing beats an evening curled up on the sofa with my favourite magazine and a glass of something sparkly. Who needs a social life when beauty forums are just a mouse click away? Nobody else would understand the excitement about the hottest nail colour or why it is necessary to have more than one eyeshadow. Other people might collect art - I collect lipsticks, I only wonder why their colours are not very different.

Who said that men are hunter-gatherers has never seen a woman on the hunt for the latest fashion item.

Mulberry, blackberry, elderberry – when it comes to fashion, purple is the new black for me this season. Every woman needs to update her wardrobe and no matter what dress size I am at the moment, a new handbag will always fit. I remember how happy I was when I carried my new bag home and it was a bargain too! Not to mention the envious looks my colleagues gave me, the first time I had it with me at the office. What I still need is a matching pair of shoes - and gloves maybe?

Cashmere sweaters? Give it to me! With cashmere sweaters in all the classic colours a girl is always in style. When I see the colour-coordinated piles in my favourite department store, I would love to roll around in them.

I don’t like to workout, but browsing through the drugstores in search for a new perfume is like an exercise for me. I’m sure this way I burn off a lot of calories and have fun too. I can spend hours testing all the new arrivals and convincing the salesperson that I need more samples before I can decide what scent will have the honour to grace the shelf in my bathroom. Along with the other countless perfume bottles which found their way into my home over the year.

And who can resist scents that claim to be “voluptuous feminine, floral, rich sensual and full-bodied, with sweet musk and powdery amber.” They promise to wrap you in like a warm blanket on a cold winter night and before my mind clears and reality kicks in, I see myself handing over my credit card.

I hear you Sarah Jessica Parker – I had to have it too!

X
Christina

There is a life out there

Last time I asked "How much fun do you have?" and I did this on the Internet in several forums.

A few women replied to this and there was one who was in the same situation like me. To make a long story short, we met up last week and we found out that we have quite a lot in common.

What I never could imagine happened: it is really possible to find new friends over the Internet. I only wish it would be easier to find friends in the "real" world!

X
Christina

How much fun do you have?

Do you remember the series "Sex and the City"?

I saw pictures on the Internet the other day, they are currently working on the movie in New York. What I liked best about this series was, when the four girls met for a drink or two in a fancy bar and simply had fun. That's what is missing in my life. A regular girls night-out to have fun.

Well, I can't say that I lead a boring life. I'm living in Munich, have a full time job and I'm working on a second career. I visit my Dad in Ingolstadt almost every weekend to help him with his house and garden and I'm also renovating my home there, in the time that's left.

Not to mention the many hours I spend in the evening, searching the Internet for information, posting to forums and writing new entries for my blog.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life like it is now, but I don't have any friends in Munich, the only people I meet are the ones at work, not the kind you want to have as friends. And I don't have friends back home anymore, the interests have changed over the years.

So, what about your lives? Do you miss something, maybe more fun?

X Christina

Writing a book?

My cry for help regarding my writer's block has found answers, a big Thank You to everybody who helped me with this problem.

Now my article is ready for posting and I´m brave (or stupid?) enough to think about writing a book. OK, maybe a small one for now, maybe a book that will never see the shelves in the book stores. I can write a book only for myself, just for fun.

Of course, it would be great to land a book-deal, but had J.K. Rowling that in mind when she sat in a coffee shop and wrote "Harry Potter"?

Well, it might be better when I take a writing course first, EVE magazine has a special offer for their readers. If I can manage to book the course in October, I would love to fly to London for that. And it is a good excuse for a shopping trip too.

Millions of books are published every year and I have purchased so called best-seller, e.g. for coaching, because of recommendations in magazines and reviews from readers. But sometimes I was very disappointed.

I wonder, who decides what is interesting for the readers? Agents? Publishers? Are there polls to find out what is "in", what sells?

Is it possible for everybody to write a book and sell it? What is the secret for creating a chart-topping novel?

Let me know, what you think!

X Christina

Writing Tips

No, I don´t have any, instead I could use some myself.

I try to write my first article and although I have read inspirational self-help guides such as "Ten ways to get in the habit of writing," there is nothing written about how I can overcome writer´s block.

I have followed the recommendations to get myself into a regular routine of writing, I try to write on my way to work, in my coffee and lunch break. But what can I do, when my mind is so occupied with the daily distractions of my job, or simply as blank as the piece of paper I´m staring at?

A lack of creativity combined with poor writing skills adds to that and is not a good foundation for writing a bestseller either.

And above all there is the nagging feeling, what if I don´t have a talent at all for writing, whether it is a blog or an article? OK, as a coach I should know better, how to change a limiting belief, but I´m only human.

So, everybody who reads my cry for help, if you can give me any practical advice, or if you like to share your story, how you became a successful writer, please let me know!

X Christina

Taking stock

September is a good time to take stock what I have achieved so far this year. OK, I start a little earlier this time, but non the less I can look back at eight successful month.

There was my consultation with Paula Gardner of doyourownpr in London, followed by my first press release, I have sent out. I started writing this blog, something I wanted to for quite some time, but were not sure how. I joined the lonely Entrepreneurs Club a networking site for the Self Employed or Small Business Owner. And writing regularly on other blogs and forums and submitting my blog to a blog catalog are another goals I have achieved.

Oh and did I mention, I found a new temporary job and started renovating my new home?

So, what´s next? I have four month left to create new goals and review what has worked in the past eight month and what not. One goal for the next month is to start going to networking meetings and writing and submitting my first article.

What are your goals?

X Christina

Wildlife in Suburbia

I had a great weekend at my Dad´s home and most of the time I spend watching and feeding Feli, the cat from our neighbour and the cat family from the neighbourhood, but seems to live in our garden.

I have so much fun with them, that I thought about starting a second blog, where I write about the adventures of the little creatures. I already have a title for it:

Wildlife in Suburbia - the adventures of Feli and the gang.

X Christina

Queen of the moment

I´ve always had the tendency to think about the future and asking "what if..?" I was worried about what might happen and how I would deal with it. Although deep down I know it is senseless, because what might happen in the future is out of my control and I don´t have any proof that something will go wrong, i.e. I loose money, my business fails, I become seriously ill, etc.

When I started to work on my believe system and live more in the moment I noticed some positive changes. I feel more at ease, I´m happier and I enjoy my life right now the way it is. I am grateful for what I have achieved so far and I expect things to turn out positive. And it works!

Of course, changes don´t happen over night and it requires constant work to keep up the positive thoughts. But it is worth it.

When do you start to live in the moment?

Love
Christina

Hobbies

When I was asked about my hobbies in the past, I was not quite sure what to tell.

Swimming, reading, walks in the park, not very much interesting I thought and I also wasn´t very passionate about it. But spending my precious time scuba diving or rock climbing doesn´t do it for me, interesting or not.

Over the last year my interests have changed. Now I love gardening and renovating my house, although I can imagine, that peeling off layers of wallpaper doesn´t appeal to everybody.

And there is the little cat family I started feeding and seeing them playing around in the garden makes me happy. I discovered it is not necessary to have a past time that is glamorous, expensive or even dangerous. It can be very simple as long as it gives me joy.

Wouldn´t it be great, when your job or work life does this too?

X
Christina

The Art of Decision making

This week I have to decide whether I stay with the Temping Agency or sign a contract with their client, I work for at the moment.

Well, usually I wouldn´t think about that, because whatever I decide I know I will always have some sort of income. But here I really have to think hard about signing a new contract, because it could be I can work 30 h/week on 4 days and therefore I have more time for my coaching business and the house renovations.

The downside is, this job has many disadvantages. Working there only temporary means I don´t care about it, I know I work there only for a few month. But signing a contract has something "eternally" for me. Sounds stupid, doesn´t it?

Nothing is forever, I can always quit, if I want to. And no matter, if the new contract is only temporary or not, if it is with a Temping Agency, or not. It is not written in stone. Ahh...relief..

Now the new company looks much more promising!

X
Christina

Law of Attraction in Action

A few month ago I thought about the ideal networking group for me. I made a list, talked to a former colleague and searched the Internet. I even posted to a few forums and I wrote about it here on my blog a few days ago.

It seems that the Law of Attraction was working for me, because I have found what I was looking for!

I have no idea how I came across this website, but anyway I have joined http://www.lonelyentrepreneur.com/ the club for lonely entrepreneurs and business owners and I can highly recommend it!

It is free for the first 1000 members, has a forum, monthly group calls and expert tips.

This is what I call Attraction in Action!

Love
Christina

Networking Ideas

I´ve never been good at networking. Networking meetings with a room full of strangers make me cringe.

What I would like to have is the following:

An online networking group, it should be free for everybody, meetings take place over SKYPE at a convenient time for everybody. It has friendly informal atmosphere where other business owners can share their thoughts, successes and help each other.

Does something like this exist?

Love
Christina

Finally - My press release!

I´m very proud, that I finally managed to find a free press release service to send out my press release.

The name of the service is sanepr.com and I have put out How to have the most fabulous forties with Christina Rolle

Enjoy reading!

Love
Christina

Being sick but grateful

Last Monday a nasty virus paid a visit to my immune system and decided to stay there for a while.
That meant I wasn´t able to go to work and had to stay in bed, but the good thing was my appointment at my doctors office was much shorter than expected. Sometimes it is an advantage when you can tell the nurse you have to lie down because you are about to faint. It shortens the time in the waiting room.

Feeling much better now, but still at home, I have time enough to write my blog, search the Internet for interesting articles, sort out old magazines and so on.

A short break, even unwanted and unintenionally can be something to be grateful for.

Love

Christina

To do or not to do

Do you have a so called "to-do list"? I had, in fact I had more than one. More often I haven´t had enough time to do all the tasks on those lists, but I always found the time to beat myself up for not doing them.

This is wrong.

I simply wasn´t the person who wrote the list anymore and the list writing and reviewing was actually holding me back to do things.

Instead of writing these lists I make a master plan. I focus on a project that really gets me excited. For example renovating my new home or the press release for my business. I write in my appointment book: go to IKEA on Friday, look for wallpapers on Saturday. And for the press release I write down: search the Internet for free press release services on Wednesday and so on.

Then I cross off the items to keep momentum going.

Now, how long will you hang on to your to-do list?

Love
Christina

A thought about friendship

A former colleague and I meet up on a regular basis, email each other and chat on the phone quite often.

Every time we talk she asks about my work, coaching, family and friends. She shows a genuine interest in my life. And as far and good as I know her, I can assume she is not faking it, or trying to make small talk.

That makes me wonder, why is she interested in my overall well-being when my so called friends are not?

My oldest friend always calls only to whine and complain about work, colleagues money and so on. But she never asks how I feel. And there are my friends in America. Why am I the only one, who calls, sends emails and packages? I don´t think it is because of the time difference or the distance that I never hear from them.

Why is it so difficult to let go of friendships we have outgrown? Do we cling to friendships because we are afraid of what the other person might think if we break the contact?

It is time to adjust the expectations we have towards an old friendship and start treating them as old school friends. How would an old school friend act?

And instead of having soul baring talks only doing activities together sometimes.

Letting go of old baggage

I have to admit, I have put on weight.

No, not over night, but over the last year or so. Since buying a new wardrobe doesn´t fit in the budget, I have to fit in my old clothes again.

I´ve always been a plus size. I tried every new diet, exercised, lost weight, gained weight and so on. A few years ago I went on a strict diet and exercise regimen and lost a lot of weight, but did I gain confidence? No!

I was too worried to put on the weight again, that I wouldn´t give myself permission to indulge in a piece of cake or chocolate and spend the evening on the sofa, not on the treadmill.

Finally, I came to my senses and asked myself "What am I doing?"

It was time to let go of old baggage! Especially false expectations about looks, life and my waistline. I will never be a size zero and I don´t have to. Being my true self feels good and is liberating.

Funnily enough, it took me almost 45 years to accept my body and be happy in my own skin.

What can you let go of? What´s holding you back to being your true self?

Love

Christina

Summertime

I´ve spent a lovely weekend in my Dad´s home about 80 km from Munich. I love being there, especially in summer when I can sit outside and relax. On Saturday we had barbecue and enjoyed the warm summer evening until midnight.

It seems as if time goes by more slowly when I´m there. Although it is only for the weekend, a short break, afterwards I feel refreshed as if I had spent a whole week on vacation. Maybe, because I don´t have internet access and I watch almost no tv when I´m there.

I wonder, do we really need all the electronic gadgets of modern life? Do we have to be available 24/7 by email and mobile phones when this only causes more stress?

I´m happy to take a break from that and lead a "second life" even if it´s only for a weekend every fortnight.

So, turn off the phone, shut down the computer and chill out with a cool drink.

Enjoy the summer!

Christina

Reflections

I have read my new monthly horoscope this week. It says I´ll be feeling stronger, more positive and more enthusiastic this month than ever.

But it also says Mercury, my guardian planet, will be retrograde from June 15 to July 9. Because of that, I will be advised to do nothing new or of importance, instead it is a good time to review past successes and disappointments to analyze what worked and what has not.

Even without any planets causing delays, I do this quite often. It is important for me to look back and take stock. Then I can refine my direction in life and reset my compass. Without the review of all the things that happened I would stay on the same path, that maybe leads to frustration, but not to achieving the things I wanted.

What can I put on my list as successes?

• I changed the "day job" twice
• My health has improved
• I managed a trip to London for a PR consultation
• I have made plans for renovation

So, what went not so well?

• I still have to deal with being employed
• Finding the time to network is still difficult
• I haven´t started with the PR for my coaching business

What has been a success in the past months in your life? What went not so well and what have you learned from that? Have you reset your compass?

Let me know!

Love

Christina