A much needed insight

One of my strength is that when I decide to do something I don't easily give up. But this is also my biggest problem. I'm so focused on the things I want to achieve, that on my way to reach my goal I miss the point where it should be better to stop and ask myself "do I still want this?"

This is what happened when I decided to become a coach. Sometimes between studying and setting up a practice I lost my passion for this goal. I did what I thought I have to do e.g. training, building the website and so on, but no matter what I tried nothing really worked out like expected. "But it has to!" you would hear me say, I tried to force the flow.

Because other people knew about my plans and asked me "how is the coaching going?" how could I tell them, that I'm no longer really interested to have my own coaching business. What would they think?

I ignored the signs that showed up the last year over and over again. I've spent most of my days exhausted, sick and genuinely unhappy.

So, how come that I realised now what I tried to ignore in the past? Well, I had a coaching session myself a few days ago and one part of my homework was, to imagine how my life would look like in 5 years from now. The other part was to think about ways to get a client by the end of the month. It suddenly dawned on me that I have absolutely no interest to do the same things I did so far to get the business off the ground. The mere thought about how much I struggled in the past makes me stay under the duvet.

Therefore it is no longer necessary to think about ways to attract clients. My goal no longer excites me and I don't care what other people think. If there are clients in the future I'm happy to coach them, if not, so what.

I appreciate what I have learned so far, I always wanted to have my own website, as well as a blog and I wanted to write articles. But it is time to let go of what no longer works for me and make room for something new.

What I really want is being happy and healthy. I like to travel and have a long vacation. Oh yes, and thought of writing a bookd makes me really go "Wow!"

I want to spend enough time with my Dad, enjoy the weekends without feeling guilty that I haven't worked enough on my goal. I want to meet up with friends after work, go clothes shopping and not asking myself afterwards, if I had better spent the money for my coaching business.

I just want to have fun with what I'm doing and whenever a goal no longer excites me, I won't pursue it any longer.

X

Christina